In a perfect world men and women

In a perfect world, women and men

would complete each other rather than compete with each other.

They would derive happiness from

honouring and not negating each other.

In a perfect world,

the Domestic Violence Act would not exist

because there would be no violence against

women and men would take pride in protecting

rather than attack ing them.

In a perfect world,

women would be safe within and out side their homes.
The very fact that such an Act exists

tells us something about the world we live in.

The question

whether such an Act can be used

against innocent men is relevant

but

we must ask first

why such an Act was formulated in the first place.

Counsellor approached by at least

20 distressed, married women each week.

Most of these women are welleducated

but suffer from low-esteem and allow themselves

to be battered and abused.

Most do not want to break up their marriages

because they feel they would not get any support from

the law, society, or their immediate families.

These are women

who will never ever step

into a police station or a lawyer's office,

leave alone misuse the

Domestic Violence Act.
''What we do is to allow them catharsis,

enable them to cry and unburden themselves

and strengthen them in some way to be able to stand up to abuse,''

only when the abuse crosses a certain limit

that the women agree to be helped by lawyers and the police.

<> ''The new Domestic Violence Act

is basically a knee-jerk reaction to the wide-spread

violence against women.

The truth however is that the law alone cannot change things.

Parents should teach their daughters

to develop self-esteem and their sons

to treat girls as their equals.

Schools should do the same.

Most of the time, the bullying of girls begins in high-schools. ''

Also doubts

whether the Act will help women get justice faster.

''Today

if a woman goes to a police station

and complains that her husband is beating her,

chances are, she will be laughed at.

There would not be any need for such an Act

if the police was sensitised to women's issues

but that is not the case.

More than such Acts, we need society and law enforcers

to become more sensitive towards women,

otherwise things will remain as they are.''

Yes,

there is a small percentage of women

who probably use such laws to punish inlaws and husbands

out of spite

but then

who said, it was a perfect world?
''Filing an FIR against husband will took you months

because no one will takes you seriously

unless you are well-connected

or very affluent.

If there are kids involved,

it is even tougher because the man wants

to have a say in their life even without taking responsibility.

Plus legalities drain resources.

The first lawyer you will approached will

asked for more than a lakh even before taking the case.

Another one will ask for a little less

but it is more or less the same story.

I don't know how

this Act can help simplify things for women.

I am sure there are women who misuse the law

but

their numbers are negligible in a society

controlled by male viewpoints.' '

Law should protect any innocent person,

be it a man or a woman

from abuse of any kind

but

also says that marriage is too complex an issue in India

for the law to really intervene.

''It is difficult for the law to really tell

who is right or wrong.

The real change has to start within families,''

women's who had been told many times by her parents

to stay with her husband and not tell anyone

what was happening to her.
Can any law for instance protect

a Bharti Yadav

who was victimised by her own father and brothers

for daring to exercise her right to choose a life partner?

What laws can protect daughters

who are conditioned to stay docile and 'adjustible'

and married off to men not of their choice?

''There is still a lot of suffering among women

which has not been confronted effectively

either by the society or by the law.

There is still a conspiracy of silence surrounding domestic violence.

Yes,

the Domestic Violence Bill

can be misused by unscrupulous people

but to say that we should scrap it

or

we do not need is like arguing

that because electricity kills people,

we should not use it.

Do we stop driving cars because people die

in accidents

or

ban knives because they are dangerous?

< /div>

We are not living in a fairy tale world

where the king bans needles and pins from the place

because there is a prophecy that the princess would die

of a needle prick!

We have very effective rape laws but still the statistics keep on rising.

Should we ban the rape laws also?''

The fact that a few women will misuse the

Domestic Violence Act,

should not be used against victims

who need justice desperately,

the police,

the judiciary and the family courts,

all must be sensitised towards women who need help.

''There are so many illegalities at every level

and this should be rectified for any

Act to achieve something positive,''

The question here is not

whether the Domestic Violence Act can be misused

but

whether it is being used well at all.

The day our society can look itself in the eye and say

that it treats women on par with men,

this Act will become redundant.

That would be something,

worth working towards.

Yours
Kavitha